Let’s talk about feeling overwhelmed. Krystyna shares a memory of being overwhelmed by her school work, and Dr. Lockhart and Nakita discuss how feelings can teach you about OR show you what you need and don’t need.
Let’s talk about feeling overwhelmed. Krystyna shares a memory of being overwhelmed by her school work, and Dr. Lockhart and Nakita discuss how feelings can teach you about OR show you what you need and don’t need.
You can find out more about Dr. Lockhart and her practice online at anewdaysa.com and on Instagram at @dr.annlouise.lockhart.
You can find Nakita’s book, A Kids Book About Emotions and other kids' books about important topics at akidsco.com
If there’s an emotion you want to share for us to explore, send us a note at listen@akidspodcastabout.com. Check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.
Everyday Feels: A Kids Podcast About Emotions
S1 EP9, Krystyna (Overwhelmed)
[INTRODUCTION]
Nakita: Hi, I'm Nakita Simpson.
Ann-Louise: And I'm Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart.
Nakita: I wrote a kid's book called A Kids Book About Emotions.
Ann-Louise: and I help kids and grownups work through their emotions.
Nakita: And now we're making a podcast about them.
Ann-Louise: This is Everyday Feels, a podcast about emotions for kids and their grownups.
Nakita: This podcast is better together. Listen with a grownup, with a family member, with the class or with a friend. How are you feeling today, Dr. Lockhart?
Ann-Louise: I'm feeling a little frazzled, because I had a really unpleasant experience today when someone cut me off in my kids’ school parking lot and then started yelling at me. So it took me a while to settle down from that experience. But I’m doing better. How about you Nakita? How are you feeling today?
Nakita: Oof! I'm feeling a bit anxious, it’s a new week and I don’t feel ready for the week but I’m trying to find ways to feel better about it.
Ann-Louise: Hmm, thanks for sharing. Even when it’s hard to share, I think we all want to feel heard and known by others.
Nakita: You’re welcome, Dr. Lockhart. And I definitely do agree. Oh, thinking about this episode, um I have a question. What do you do when you have a big challenge ahead but don’t know how to handle it?
Ann-Louise: We should definitely talk more about that.
Nakita: I think we should. Are you ready?
Ann-Louise: I sure am. Are you?
Nakita: Definitely!
[SHARING THE MEMORY]
Nakita: I think it's time we heard from Krystyna, from New York, who shares a memory when she felt overwhelmed.
Let's listen together.
Krystyna: Hi, my name is Krystyna. I am 12 years old, and I live in Amityville, New York. And I live with my mom, my two doggos, and my uncle.
Krystyna: A time I felt overwhelmed was when I was stressed with my schoolwork. And I felt overwhelmed. Um, and what I did is I took some time to just cry letting my feelings out. And I don’t really wish I did anything different, because I felt a lot calmer after.
Krystyna: And I like how things turned out, because now I was less stressed and was able to finish my homework.
Ann-Louise: Thank you Krystyna for sharing your experience about feeling overwhelmed and stressed with your schoolwork. A lot of kids are going through that right now. It’s actually a really common experience.
Nakita: Yes, thank you for sharing Krystyna. Listeners, if you don’t mind Dr. Lockhart and I will take a short pause right here, and you should too. Let’s take a deep breath in, slowly let it out, and get settled again. When we come back, we'll talk more about feeling overwhelmed and stressed. We'll even give you listeners a chance to share a memory about it and listen while others around you share their memories too.
We'll continue after the short break.
[EXPLORING THE EMOTION]
Nakita: Welcome back to Everyday Feels.
We just listened to Krystyna who shared with us how overwhelmed and stressed she was with her schoolwork. I think so many kids and grownups can relate to these emotions.
Ann-Louise: I think so too Nakita. Thanks for sharing, Krystyna. One of the most important things I have learned is that feelings are really important. Feelings give you messages about what you need or don’t need. They are signals we should pay attention to so we know how to ask for what we need. Just like our belly rumbling when we’re hungry, our emotions and feelings tell us when we have an unmet need. It’s so important to pay attention to our feelings. Don’t ignore them.
Nakita: Such great points Dr. Lockhart. Feeling overwhelmed reminds me of a lot of feelings bumping into each other at the same time! Are there some helpful words we can use to describe all the things Krystyna felt while doing her homework?
Ann-Louise: Yes, that's a great question. Nakita. The words we can use to describe feeling overwhelmed or stressed are called synonyms. These include words such as swamped, inundated, defeated, flooded, overloaded, or buried. As you can hear, these are big and heavy words, which is why we feel so out of control when we feel overwhelmed.
Nakita: When I hear these words, it reminds me of how my heart races and my stomach hurts and how heavy I feel inside when I get overwhelmed. Does feeling overwhelmed always make people feel terrible?
Ann-Louise: Not always. We can feel overwhelmed by emotion when something really sad or stressful happens. We can also feel overwhelmed by gratitude and excitement when something really cool happens, like a surprise trip to DisneyWorld, which is something we did for my kids a couple years ago. Feeling overwhelmed can feel terrible or great.
Nakita: Oh, that’s a great perspective Dr. Lockhart. I remember when I took my first class final in college, it was the same feeling I had before big tests in elementary school. I was so stressed and overwhelmed when I studied up until test day, and some of the stress kept me studying while some of it made me feel a bit sick. It was a bit tough to learn how to deal with it.
Ann-Louise: Exactly! You know, when my husband and I surprised our kids with the Disney family trip, I felt overwhelmed with all the excitement in planning the trip and keeping it a secret until the very last minute. But, then I was also overwhelmed with all the planning and travel plans involved. It was both good stress and bad stress.
Nakita: Oh yes! I know those words. Distress is stress that feels negative to your mind and your body. Eustress (yoo-stres) motivates and energizes us!
Ann-Louise: Yes! Eustress is a weird word, isn’t it? But, it’s an important distinction so that people know that not all stress is bad stress. We become distressed when we’re stressed out for too long.
Nakita: Oh, I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad we’re talking about this, Dr. Lockhart. You know what I think we should do? Why don't we give everyone listening the opportunity to share a memory with whomever they’re listening with. Maybe that's a babysitter or a neighbor, a sibling, or a grandparent, a classmate, or a grownup you trust. And if you're listening by yourself, you can say the memory out loud or just think it to yourself.
Ann-Louise: Nakita, I think that's a great idea. Think about a time you felt stressed or overwhelmed. Share that memory. Remember why you felt overwhelmed or stressed. You can write it down, create a drawing, and share it with your grownup.
And if you're a grown up and listening with your kid, take this time to listen, give them the space to share and then thank them for sharing their story.
No need to provide advice. Just listen for now. We'll give you more specific tools in a bit.
Nakita: All right y'all, here's where you can pause the podcast and share your memory with whomever you're listening with. Take as much time as you need. Dr. Lockhart and I will be waiting right here for you when you're ready to come back.
[REFLECTION BREAK]
Ann-Louise: Welcome back to Everyday Feels. We hope you had the opportunity to share by yourself or with your grownup about a time you felt overwhelmed or stressed.
Nakita: Dr. Lockhart, before we wrap up, are there any tools for feeling overwhelmed and any tools you can think of that would help our listeners and even the grownups?
Ann-Louise: Absolutely Nakita. I have one reminder and two really helpful tips.
Always remember your feelings are not your enemy, your feelings give you messages about other people and the world around you. So just notice those feelings and give yourself lots of love and compassion. Challenge yourself to face the emotions you tend to avoid. I know it’s hard, but this is an important part of the process, and it helps you grow.
All right! First, remember that life, whether we like it or not in the present moment, is not good or bad. Life is what happens to us. We can choose to feel overwhelmed by it or choose to ask for help and get support. So, ask for help. Get the support you need. Tell someone that you feel stressed or overwhelmed. Keep asking until you get what you need. Don’t do this life alone.
Second, when your thoughts are racing and you feel like crying, tell yourself, “Stop!” Focus on what you can control right now. You might have a ton of things to do, focus on that one thing and then the next and then the next. Take it one step at a time. You don’t need to get it all done right now. While you’re doing each step, take a breath and calm your body. Keep going.
[WRAP-UP]
Nakita: Well, that’s our show. Thank you so much Krystyna for sharing with us about an overwhelming experience. We appreciate you being vulnerable and brave. And thank you, Dr. Lockhart, for helping us to remember and understand what to do when we feel stressed and overwhelmed.
And thank you Dr. Lockhart for reminding us that even when life feels busy and confusing, we can learn and practice how to take things one step at a time at our own pace.
Ann-Louise: Of course, Nakita. So many adults grew up ignoring our feelings and pretending like we’re okay. It’s time for us to change that story. I’m so glad you listeners are here with us. If you want professional help and need to talk to someone about how you feel. You can find a therapist online by typing “child psychologist near me”. You can look up all the different professionals in your area for services in person or online.
That's a great place to start.
Nakita: And remember, you are the expert on your emotions.
Ann-Louise: Emotions are really your friend.
Nakita: And you're always allowed to feel what you feel.
Ann-Louise: Let's continue this journey together.
[CLOSING]
Nakita: Thanks for joining us today. You can find out more about Dr. Lockhart and her practice online at anewdaysa.com and on Instagram at @dr.annlouise.lockhart. You can find my book, A Kids Book About Emotions and other kids' books about important topics at akidsco.com
Ann-Louise: Everyday Feels is written by Nakita Simpson and Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart. Our show is edited and produced by Ari Mathae with help from Matthew Winner. Sound design is by Chad Michael Snavely and the team at Sound On Studios. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory. And this show was brought to you by A Kids Podcast About.
If there’s an emotion you want to share for us to explore, send us a note at listen@akidspodcastabout.com. And check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.
Nakita: Until next time.
Ann-Louise: Bye for now.